Dawn's Grey Light
by JillDragon
Summary: Set in Simon R. Green's Deathstalker series. As the dust settles from Owen Deathstalker's rebellion, one man tries to put the pieces of his shattered life back together.


**Author's Notes:** This story takes place immediately after the events of Book 3: _Deathstalker's War_. Capt. Silence was missing from the story for a good portion of the next book, _Deathstalker's Honor_, so I gave him something plausible to do to explain his absence.

**Disclaimer:** As usual, the characters and setting belong to Simon R. Green. I'm just borrowing them for a little while - I promise I'll be gentle with them. ;)

* * *

"I don't know how I can thank you enough for this, sir," Captain Eden Cross began as the two officers strode catwalk above the space-dock. Through the plexiglass walls they could see a sleek-looking battleship, its paint still fresh and its silver metal un-corroded by time in space. The _Excalibur_ was modeled after the _Dauntless,_ but it had some minor upgrades that the prototype had lacked. Not mention the engineers had fixed some of the little niggling bugs that had made Captain Silence want to tear out his hair in frustration sometimes.

"Oh it's nothing," the older man replied, "You earned it. With your smarts and drive you'd have made Captain before too long anyway."

"In ten years maybe," Cross said dryly. "That you put my name forward…it means a lot to me."

Captain John Silence cleared his throat gruffly, "Well it won't be a cushy job, I can guarantee you that – not anymore. We've got Shub preparing for all-out war and two alien species on our doorstep that we know nothing about – except that they aren't exactly friendly. And I still don't trust that the Haden will keep their word longer that they have too – no matter what Owen says."

Cross's smile was distinctly ironic. "There's an Old Earth proverb that I heard once, 'May you live in interesting times'. It's actually supposed to be some sort of curse – and now I'm beginning to see why."

"Only now?" Silence snorted in amusement. "Anyway, when do you want me to put forward a transfer for Dr. Calhoun?"

The smile dropped of Cross's face and he fidgeted for a moment in silence, "Actually we sort of called…things off." He sighed in resignation, "I think it had something to do with landing in her medbay with ten inches of steel shoved through my gut after the battle with Shub's Ghost Warriors. She just went and told me a few days ago that she…just couldn't do it anymore."

"Ah…damn, I'm sorry to hear that," Silence patted his shoulder sympathetically. He'd been looking forward to the marriage of the_ Dauntless'_ Assistant Medical Officer and its former Communications Officer. They made a good pair, he always thought – which just showed how little he knew. It was unfortunate, but Cross's situation was hardly anything new – military life was hell on relationships; God knew he'd been a pretty poor husband to Elaine when she had been alive.

Cross shrugged philosophically, "It was awhile in coming, so it wasn't really much of a shock."

Silence nodded and tactfully dropped the subject. He'd never been one to pry in his officers' private lives unless it interfered with their duties - like that incident with Security Chief Stelemach when the _Dauntless_ had been exiled to the Rim.

Cross was a good, steady man and he was fairly confident that the new captain would find a way to deal with his problems. To put it bluntly, Cross had to or else he wouldn't survive in the job.

"So what happens now?" Cross asked, leaning against the wall, "I heard that the new Parliament was considering bringing charges against you."

"They were dropped," Silence said flatly, "Apparently Owen Deathstalker went to them and told them to leave off." He snorted sardonically to cover the stab of guilt he felt, _I don't deserve to have some of things I've done swept under the rug. _"Given how popular he is with the people right now, I think if he asked them to pardon Lionstone herself, they'd do it."

"I wonder how long the 'honeymoon' will last," Cross said cynically, "Before he shows his true colours."

"You know," Silence mused, "Funny as it sounds, I think that these might _be_ his true colours. Not that I know him well, but the few times I talked to him he seemed like a genuinely good man."

"There are few enough of those left in the Empire, maybe we finally lucked out," the young man commented in a neutral tone.

_Hopefully_. He didn't say it aloud but he had a good feeling about Owen Deathstalker for lack of a better term, and his gut instincts tended to be right.

"Sir…if I may ask….What about Investigator Frost?"

"We buried her last night," Silence said, his voice so tightly controlled that it hardly sounded like his own, "Diana, Owen, and I, in an unmarked grave outside the city. We didn't want anyone feeling vengeful to desecrate-" he couldn't go on.

Cross carefully looked away as Silence struggled to get himself back under control, "…She deserved better than that," he said softly, "None of us officers knew her or cared about her like you did, but…she didn't deserve to end like this, buried in a hole in the ground and forgotten."

Silence sighed heavily, rubbing his face with a hand. He knew he probably looked like hell to Cross - he'd been getting an awful lot of concerned looks from people lately. He hadn't been sleeping; the first few attempts had been so filled with nightmarish images that he had awoken more drained and exhausted than he'd been before going to sleep. Eventually he had given up and tried to fill the extra hours and keep his mind occupied by doing something useful.

"It is what it is. The Investigators are being held up as symbols of the worst of Empress Lionstone's tyranny, and I can't blame the people for agreeing – they aren't that far off, after all," he explained, trying to be objective.

Cross nodded, if only, perhaps to make him feel better about it.

Silence cleared his throat, "I have a favor I need to ask from you."

"Anything, sir" Cross said quickly.

Silence quirked a wry smile, "Not 'sir' anymore, Cross. This isn't Fleet-related; it's more personal business, I suppose you'd call it. So it's a personal request.

"I have….things to do, and places I need to go where I'd rather everybody and their ten friends not know where I am. But…if things go all to Hell in a handcart and Shub attacks or…whatever, when I'm gone, I want you to know where you can get a hold of me quickly." His smile held little humor.

Cross saw the expression on his face and nodded solemnly, "I can understand that. Where…?"

Silence told him and saw the swarthy-skinned man's eyebrows go up in surprise, "But there's nothing there except an agricultural colony that's hardly past the level of subsistence. Are you sure –"

"Yes," Silence said bluntly, "I had to twist a few arms to get the information; they're not exactly forthcoming with the information stored in the Investigators' archives."

Cross whistled softly and shook his head, "That must have taken some doing."

Silence shrugged, uncomfortably aware that before the fall of the Empress he wouldn't have dared taken on the Archive's guardians. Come to think of it, he wouldn't have dared a lot of things he had said and done in the past few days. It was just too damn hard for him to care anymore.

"Remember, real emergencies only, Cross," he warned.

"Understood."

Cross's decisive nod was reassuring, even though Silence had already been reasonably confident that he could count on him.

The catwalk ended at two imposing steel doors that marked the entrance to the space-dock. Up until bare months ago the E-class starships with their new, alien tech-derived star-drives had been an imperial secret and these specialized construction docks had been heavily guarded and under constant surveillance. Now though, secrecy had been discarded in favor of efficiency. With so much of the Fleet destroyed in the rebellion the engineers were working overtime to construct replacements.

Cross paused at the doors, "I'm going to go down and have a look at how things are going. Are you coming Captain?"

Silence smiled, "No, I think I'll leave you to it. She's your ship, so I'll let you two get acquainted."

"Any last words of advice for a novice captain, sir?" Cross asked attempting to sound jocular - it didn't suit him.

"I took command of my first ship, the _Darkwind, _during the reign of the previous Emperor; any advice I could give you is probably out of date and wouldn't be too helpful anyway," Silence said dryly. "You'll work things out for yourself and find your own way of doing things. I can warn you that it isn't easy and it'll probably end up taking over your entire life."

He sighed, the stress and pain of the previous days displayed clearly on face for once, "Just…don't fuck it up as badly as I did."


End file.
